|photo credit : Lizzyography|
It wasn't necessarily the particular things that happened that caused it to be such a rough day, but rather mine and the kids attitudes. Yesterday was really like any other day in mothering. I made three different breakfasts for three different children, wiped multiple bottoms (multiple times), started laundry, forgot about laundry, cleaned up play-doh a million times, made lunch only for it to go uneaten, scrubbed off ink that an "artist" used to decorate my van's leather seats using hairspray (it works!), took the two year old to a well check at the doc, carpooled kids home from school, took a short breather trip to Target for an alarm clock (and got home with three bags full of things that did not include an alarm clock), started making dinner only to realize I didn't have the right ingredients... you know, typical-every-day-mom stuff.
However, when you take an average mom day and you throw in children who are sugar crazy and have their sleeping schedules completely out of whack (and you yourself are sugar crazy and have your sleeping schedule completely out of whack) well then, that makes for a day that you hope will never be repeated.
As I laid in bed last night I felt a familiar tinge of guilt. I had felt it many times before after days like yesterday and I couldn't help but beat myself up a bit for not learning from the past. However, as I thought harder about the day I realized something that kind of came as a shock to me. Amidst the craziness and tantrums I was somehow able to find tiny windows of opportunities to let each child know how much I loved them. I had a deep desire to make those windows into doors and from there even bigger.
I couldn't help but think of our Heavenly Father and how he does the same thing with us. During our times of chaos, struggle, trials, loneliness, depression or what have you he always finds opportunities to show us His love. Sometimes those opportunities are windows and other times they are doors and during very special times in life the heavens are completely opened up and we are showered with His love.
My new focus is to make those windows bigger in my every day life with my kids. I want them to know that if they will allow me to I will shower them with all the love I have, no matter what kind of crazy day we are having. I love the quote from Elder Russel M. Ballard that says, "The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times. But amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." Those shining moments of joy and satisfaction, to me, are when there are showers of love in the home.