Last Friday I had one of those moments when time slowed down enough to feel as though it were standing still. My crazy, busy one year old (who is more of a monkey these days than a tiny man) fell asleep right next to me on the couch after a long day of fighting a nap. As he has never slept anywhere but his crib (I don't count his carseat because he has never slept longer than 15 minutes in it) it was quite the momentous occasion. I couldn't help but snap a quick phone shot to document this rare occurrence. I laid there breathing in his smell, listening to his deep breaths and sporadic sucks on his binky. I watched his little hand twitch ever so slightly and finally fall completely limp to his side. There is something about watching a child sleep that is so rewarding. It is then when they truly look like the sweet innocent angels sent down to bless your life on this earth.
Every night in the last four years since Little Guy was born, Jer and I have snuck into the boy's rooms and watched them sleep for a few moments. Usually a leg or two have wiggled their way out of the covers and dangle off the mattress. We re-adjust their bodies on to the beds, pull the covers back over them, turn off night lights and kiss them goodnight. After what might be considered a bad day, watching them in their innocent sleep we quickly forget about the messes that were made, the fits that were thrown, the whines and complaints that were constant and simply get to enjoy them for what they are. Sweet little boys sent to us from our Father in Heaven to raise and care for.
I know I don't get this mother thing right most of the time. There are days when I can't help but blink back the tears in frustration with myself for losing my patience or not doing enough for my boys. But in moments of quiet snuggles like I experienced on Friday I was reminded that the effort put in to trying to be a good mom is completely worth it.