Sunday, February 19, 2012

Hil's Blog with a purpose.

A double rainbow spotted somewhere between here and my parents house on our road trip a few years back.


When I first started Hil's Blog it was meant to be a place where I could come and write about anything I wanted. It didn't really have much purpose behind it, except for providing a place for my recipes, thoughts and experiences to all mingle together.

A year after starting this blog I discussed the topic of finding joy and four months after that I added it as my tagline. However, it wasn't until five short months after that when I would truly need to make a conscience effort to implement the task of finding joy on a daily basis. 

Five months after adding that tagline to Hil's Blog, we lost our little Michael. When that happened, it felt as though all of the joy in my life had been sucked dry. Greif was thick and heavy and all consuming. There were days when it was a struggle to even breath through the heart ache. I turned to my blog as an outlet for my thoughts and emotions during that time. I wrote of my struggles and pains and wrote of peoples kindnesses towards our family. It was incredibly cathartic and possibly one of the best things I could have done for myself during that trial. I needed to talk about it. I needed to tell Michael's story. I didn't feel like I could do that face to face with many people, knowing that the whole situation made them uncomfortable. By writing it on my blog, people had a choice to listen. 

I was completely blown away with the response I got during that time from readers who truly cared about my family's situation. I made dear friends during that trying time in my life, friends who don't realize how much their words, actions and prayers meant to me. 

I've thought a lot about this blog in the last few months. Ideas of getting rid of it all together have crossed my mind more than once. The blogging world can be a toxic one if you allow it. But there was something deep down inside of me telling me to not give up. To keep telling my story. That sometime, somewhere, someone needs to hear it. That someone may just be 40 year old me down the road, re-reading about my life and experiences. I know I will be grateful that I recorded it and grateful for the reminders. Or it may just be the woman on pinterest who is trying to find a good sugary recipe and happened to find it here! But it very well may be that mother who just lost her own baby and needs to know that she is not alone in her heartache. And to me, that would make it all worth it.

I love that this blog helps remind me to find joy in every day life. Each time I sat down at my computer to write about Michael, I saw that tagline "finding joy" and it reminded me to do just that. I also love what my amazing neighbor, Millie, said while helping me teach my lesson last Sunday. She mentioned the fact that joy will not just be handed to us in our laps, we have to actually seek it out. It is there, waiting for us to find it in the little things. We just have to open our eyes (and hearts)and go find it. 

8 comments:

  1. Love it. One thing that came to mind as I was reading your post is to sit for a moment and notice if you can "feel joy." Literally feel it in your body. I think I'm going to try it myself.

    Yes! Keep telling your story and other stories too.

    Love, Love, Love YOU!

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  2. I found a scripture the other day in 2 Nephi it's chapter 5:27 ( i think) "And it came to pass that they did live after the manner of happiness." I made my family learn this for FHE one night because it suggests that there is a WAY to be happy and that we have to live "after" that way. The way is the plan of happiness. It's a plan! Follow that plan and it will lead us to happiness. I found this ensign article at the same time. Read it and learn from it. I love your blog and would be sad to see it gone :) I'm glad to know you better through this blog. You are a beautiful girl. http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/01/the-book-of-mormon-and-gods-plan-for-us?lang=eng

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  3. I actually have been missing blogging lately. Not my tutorials or the food or the diy's...but the writing. I didn't do that nearly enough. I let J read my journal the other day and he talked me into blogging it. I actually just started another last week. I'm not sure if posting will happen very often, but I did it. I feel like I have something to say.

    I love your blog, Hil. You definitely exemplify your tagline, and you seem to know how to find balance in your life.

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  4. I am one of those people that needed this blog. I read about Michael several several months before I was even pregnant. The story was always in the back of my mind, and when I really needed those words they were there for me to pull to the front of my mind and cling to. I hope you know just how much your words, thoughts, and advice helped me through truly thee roughest trial in my life. Thanks for being you and for all you do(even the stuff you don't know your doing!)

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  5. "She mentioned the fact that joy will not just be handed to us in our laps, we have to actually seek it out. It is there, waiting for us to find it in the little things. We just have to open our eyes (and hearts) and go find it."

    Beautifully put!

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  6. Great comments, and I totally agree with you, Hannah. Hilary definitely exudes a rare sense of calm and balance. I like the comments about finding joy and living after the manner of happiness. There is so much joy available, but there's also a lot of challenges to being in a place of peace now, and it's good to be reminded by living examples and by edifying words that it's possible. :)

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  7. I am glad you are stilling writing your blog. Your blog was the only blog i could find where someone had gone through exactly what I was going through. I hope our blogs help woman who have gone through the grief of burying a child. I love you and I have never met you because I know you understand and always will. Sending hugs your way I hope we get to meet someday. :-) MIchelle Jensen

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  8. If it weren't for your blog I wouldn't had known how to help a friend out in her time of loss. I am not one to blog hop-- yours just happened to be a blog I stumbled upon years ago and I am so glad I did.

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