Monday, July 19, 2010

Dragging.

I'm dragging today.  I guess that's Monday for ya.

We had a busy weekend.  Saturday we drove three hours down to my grandma's 80th birthday bash celebration, only to turn around a few hours later and drive three hours back (not to mention we were all running on about 4 hours of sleep thanks to nightmares the night before).  It was totally exhausting, but totally worth it.  We were able to see my family (minus a brother-in-law who was working) and most of my extended family.  It was a fun, eventful day complete with a pirate ship water park... Little Guy was in absolute heaven.

Sunday we just took it slow.  Church, naps, a bike ride and ice cream cones on the front steps.  Summer evenings here are the absolute best.

I started my day out reading this post by my dear friend.  After reading just the title, I had tears in my eyes.  Marta did such a beautiful job describing her experience.  When I finished I went into the bathroom and sobbed, not wanting Little Guy or the hubs to see me as a basket case.  I couldn't help but ask "Why?".  Why must so many other mothers experience the pain that comes from losing a baby?  Why must so many hearts be broken, dreams be shattered and plans cancelled?  I never did come up with an answer.  I just sat there, tears rolling down my face and said a silent prayer for all those who have experienced such a loss.

Even though I may not ever know why so many women have to go through this experience, I do know that by going through the experience myself, I have learned so much.  I have come to the realization that life truly is a miracle and should never be taken for granted.  I have a deeper sympathy for those who go through the same or a similar experience.  I cherish every single moment I have with my Little Guy.  Most importantly, I have learned that we are never alone through any of our trials and we are given the strength to get through them.

Today I am wearing my sweat pants and oversized shirt.  I plan on staying in them most of the day... even though we are out of bread, milk and chips (we have a whole tupperware full of homemade salsa that can't be eaten without chips).  I'll have to think of how we are going to get those once lunch time comes around.  For now the goal is to figure out how I am going to trick Little Guy into a nap so we can get caught up on some much needed sleep!

7 comments:

  1. Hilary, you are such a good woman. Such a trooper! You are so inspirational, and I love how you never beat around the bush. You tell it how it is. Thanks for sharing that with us. =)

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  2. Oh Hilary, I would bring you some bread, milk and chips if only I would be somewhere close to you. And I would give you a big hug and surprise you with a piece of strawberry cake =)

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  3. Marta's post made me think of you. Take it easy today--you deserve it!

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  4. what would i do without a friend like you?! am still thinking of you too. xo.

    p.s. i have some chips. and am in jammies too.

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  5. I read both of your blogs and when I read marta's recently, I instantly thought that she should speak to you. I had a similar experience during my first pregnancy, but went on to have three (yes, three!) more healthy pregnancies. And 5 years later, I still think of my precious baby boy. You both inspire me to continue to be a good mother to my babies, and to live each day to the fullest. Thanks for writing such wonderful blogs, and sharing even difficult and sad situations with us all. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  6. Since my miscarriage 3 years ago I can't help but appreciate and recognize the true miracle of each birth there is. I feel as though one day things will be explained to us but for now just having an appreciation for life is a great blessing. It isn't a fun "club" to join but it sure is nice when there are others you can talk to and lean on during those hard times and especially to see how others are able to move on. Hope you enjoyed your lazy day! I spent 8 + hours traveling with four children 6-1 from Vegas to Tennessee... sweats sound so much better!

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  7. I'm so sad that Marta has joined this club... this oh too common club. It's such a hard thing to go through and doesn't make much sense. One of my best friends and my little sister have both miscarried this last week, their first miscarriages. I'm glad that I can help them and that I can be a listening ear because I've been there, but it does bring back all of the emotions and heartache of losing your baby...

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