Friday, December 4, 2009

One week ago today...

I can't believe it has been a week since I was in labor and delivered sweet little Michael. I can't decide if that sounds like a long or short time for what it feels like. In a way it feels like it was just yesterday that I held his sweet perfect body in my arms. The emotions are still very raw and at the surface. In another way it seems like it's been ages since I last saw him.

I think I am getting better with each new day, at least I hope I am. I went out to visit his grave yesterday, to see if they had placed the marker they had promised. It wasn't there yet. In fact, all that was there was a tiny patch of grass that you could tell had been dug up. My heart ached for my little boy.

It is a hard thing to explain just how I am feeling. It is interesting how I feel completely at peace with everything. I know that Michael had bigger and better things to get on with. I know that it was my Heavenly Father's will and I have been praying to accept that, which I believe I have. Yet, I am still a mother. As a mother, I believe you are endowed with an unlimited capacity to love your children. You have a bond with your children that is like no other. I can't help but miss my precious son. Blessed will be the day when we are reunited and I am able to hold him in my arms again.


During this past week we have had many acts of kindness done in Michael's honor. Our apartment currently looks like a floral shop with the many gorgeous flower arrangements that have been delivered. The wonderful women in our neighborhood have scheduled to bring meals to us each night this week (I told the hubs not get used to having a warm, homemade meal every night... because after this week I'm sure we'll be going back to leftovers and freezer meals).


My sweet friends, Marta and Rachel, made a beautiful tile with the saying "One of the best ways to have a little bit of Heaven in your home is to have someone you love in heaven". It brought tears to my eyes and I will cherish it always.


Another thing we received this week was a sweet little Cooper bird from Lucinda. Lucinda lost her baby Cooper just 3 weeks after he was born last Thanksgiving. He had to undergo heart surgery at 3 weeks and didn't make it through. She has started something called "Coopers Flock" where she knits beautiful birds in her son's honor and donates them to her hospital. The hospital then gives one bird to each family whose child has to undergo heart surgery. This gift touched my heart. Little Michael never did live long enough to go through heart surgery, but he did suffer from a heart condition. Thank you Lucinda, you have touched my heart.

Michael's bird is hanging on our tree this Christmas season as a reminder of all the sweet acts of kindness. Thank you to all of you.

2 comments:

  1. i am so happy that you have such wonderful friends and family close by who are so supportive. what a blessing.

    i wish we lived closer so we could do more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Time does move in sort of a different way when you are measuring it from the time you have lost someone you love. I am so glad that you have such a strong support group around you. Please let me know if I can help in anyway.

    ReplyDelete

 
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