Sunday, September 20, 2009

Remembering...

It is interesting how the brain seems to block out any bad thing related to pregnancy and child birth. I think it happens for a reason, otherwise most people would only ever have one child.

These past 13 weeks I have been refreshed on all things pregnancy.

With my first child, I really don't remember ever being that sick. I know I felt a little queasy every now and then in the evenings, but usually would just go to bed and wake up feeling fine the next day. However, when I talk to other family members, they inform me that I was pretty sick the first few weeks. My mind must have blocked that out.

All I know, is I don't remember ever being as sick (or exhausted for that matter) with that first pregnancy as I am with this one. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am no longer going to school or working full time like I was with Little Guy. That gave me something to take my mind off of how I was feeling. Instead, I am home all day long with a toddler trying to find ways to keep him (and myself) entertained.

I never expected my pregnancies to be so different from each other. I know that everyone says no two pregnancies are alike, I just thought and somewhat hoped mine would be similar, due to my fairly easy first pregnancy! So far, the only similarities are:

  • I seem to be twice the size of everyone else that is 13 weeks along.
  • Instead of being able to throw up and get some relief from this nauseous feeling, I just find myself wishing I could.
  • I am a complete air head and forget all sorts of things and say crazy things that don't make any sense whatsoever.
The differences are:
  • I am sick every.single.night from about 6 o'clock on.
  • I am starving.all.the.time. This could probably be the reason for why I am twice the size I should be.
  • All I ever want to eat is junk. With my first, I was on a health kick and only wanted fruit and veggies. This time around, all I have to say is... bring on the Doritos!
  • I am already wearing maternity pants or rubber banding my regular ones. I probably don't need to, but choose to because it is so much more comfortable.
  • I have had several "cravings". There have been several times when something sounds so good I have to find a way to get it.
  • I have a really hard time sleeping at night. I had the same problem towards the end of my pregnancy last time, but never in the first and second trimester!
  • I haven't been able to see the baby yet. My first one I had already had two ultrasounds by now. I'm anxious to see the cute little one
The latest difference that I have noticed is that I am absolutely terrified. I remember being nervous with my first pregnancy, but this time around I find myself scared to death. You think that since I have done it before that it would ease some of that feeling, go figure.

I am not so much scared for the pregnancy or child birth... but now having TWO children who depend on me. I have fears that my Little Guy won't feel as loved, that I won't be able to bond with this second one as much as I have been able to with Little Guy, that I will be late for every single thing due to having to get two kids ready plus myself, that I will have to strap two kids into the grocery cart to go grocery shopping... and the list goes on and on.

Please don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more excited to have another little one join our family and we always planned to have more than just one child... but now that the time is finally here I am just a little nervous about it! Any tips/consolation would be welcome.

8 comments:

  1. two isn't that hard, really! and remember that C will be older! Your little one won't be mobile for a while, and C will be able to obey and fetch things for you. don't be scared.

    it is different, and getting ready does take more time. but, in many ways, two is easier. they no longer depend on only you to entertain them. they entertain each other. in some ways, you get more freedom!

    And...pregnancy is definitely harder once you have kids. you can't just come home and sleep when you are tired or avoid the kitchen when you are sick. you still have a little one to take care of. it is worth it, though... :)

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  2. I'm thinking that maybe it's a girl!

    I agree with Hannah, having two really isn't that bad. It's nice that they start out so tiny and immobile. You get at least 6 months to ease into the idea of juggling 2 kids.

    I do most of my errands when J is home or when TJ is at preschool. I loathe taking them both with me anywhere, but it is possible!

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  3. I have the same worries - and I'm not even pregnant (nor will I be for a while). But you'll do great. You are a great mom to one - and you will be enabled!

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  4. I think the fact that you have all these worries means that you are a good mom who is more than ready to add to her family. I can promise that the second you hold that new little baby in your arms not only will the love you feel for that child be just as immediate and intense as was your first, but the love you will feel for your first child will grow and develop in ways you could never have imagined. You're such a good mom and I can't wait to get to know baby #2 just like I have baby #1 (even if it's vicariously through this blog:)

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  5. Oh sweet wife, you have my complete confidence. :)

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  6. thanks for sharing this. i'm not yet close to even thinking about baby #2, but i'm sure when I do, i'll be feeling the exact same way.

    stumbled on your blog somehow, just saying hello!

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  7. It's not all that bad having 2. I was scared to death when we found out, I had the exact terrors that you do. Going to the store, getting things done, showing both you love them, and not spending more time with one then the other. You just figure them out. It takes some adjustments, and time, but Caleb is going to be such a great help. Once you have the new little one, you aren't going to remember what life was like with only one!

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  8. It's true, pregnancy is harder when you already have at least one child, but hopefully yours will get easier soon. Usually the second trimester is the best, right?

    I totally understand all your fears about having more than one. And it does take some time to adjust, just like when you have your first baby, it takes a bit of time to get used to the change in your life. But you absolutely will get used to it, and your life will be filled with even more joy than it is now.

    And as they get older, they play with each other, which means you do not have to be the one woman show, providing endless hours of constant entertainment. :)

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